Insights & Guidance for Planning Ahead

Just a few months ago, we adopted a one year old labrador mix, Milo. This was after we had lost all three of our dogs, Indy, Kiah and Kobe over the space of about six months. The three all had connections to two other labs, Star and Maggie, that had passed away a few years earlier. They were all best of friends. Adoption was not an easy or quick decision. We were adopting a stranger. Sometimes when I look into Milo’s eyes, I feel like I can see Star. When Star looked at

Last week my wife, Barb, and I adopted Milo, an 85 pound one year old labrador mixed dog. We got him from the Hays Humane Society. It was a big step for us. We lost Indy in December 2023; then Kiah in January 2024; and finally our last love, Kobe, in May 2024. The three of them were best friends for many years. We were devastated, and I felt like my heart had been emptied. When trying to decide whether to adopt, we were asking ourselves: Do we jump back into dog owner

We receive many of the same questions from our clients, readers of our daily emails, other attorneys, nursing homes, and care facilities. “What is a DNR? And, Can you help me create a DNR?” A DNR is a “Do Not Resuscitate” directive or order. It is a patient’s directive that can become a doctor’s order. It is not for everyone, but everyone has the right to make a DNR directive. A DNR describes what medical care a person does not want to receive if that person stops breathing o

I arrived at about 2:50pm for my first 3:00pm middle school football game. My youngest daughter, Rachel, started cheerleading this year. I discovered I was too late! In Hays, Kansas, the stands are packed 10 minutes before a middle school football game. There were about three seats left or standing room only. You could not see the game from any of the remaining seats – and my wife and mother were scheduled to join me in 30 minutes. I never expected middle school football woul

My first column that I ever wrote was for a periodic called the “Kansas Senior Times.” I was asked to write articles of interest to older adults. After some deliberation, I decided to call it “Gray Matters.” My thought was that though we are older, we still matter. And there are topics that matter to us. And the gray matter, “our brain,” has so much stored in it by way of knowledge and wisdom, that it needs and should be shared. Now, to the 2024 election. A few years ago,

A family in crisis came to see me recently. There were multiple children. Mom was there. She is in her eighties and recently had a series of crises, resulting in a couple of hospitalizations. The family reported signs of dementia, but in our meeting, mom was articulate and engaged. A couple of the children live in the area and are trying to help mom. One child from out of state has come home to get mom through this crisis but needs to go back to her own home out of state. Som

Many of you know that we talk about working with our client/families and being “A Guide for Your Journey”. For some that may be a throwaway phase. It is not. There is a story behind it. In 2012, my family and I went to Tanzania, Africa, to the Serengeti National Park. The Serengeti is 12,000 square miles that contains the world’s most massive land animal migration, as well as lions, elephants, wildebeest, rhinos, leopards, hyenas, baboons, giraffes and many more animals.

The month of June always makes me think of my grandmother. Both because of D Day (you will understand more about that in a moment) and her birthday. When others think of my grandmother, many wonderful traits come to mind: a gentle woman, kind, forgiving, open-minded, compassionate, happy, energetic, a great cook, a great mother, and a great grandmother, just to mention a few. Sometimes when I think of my grandmother I worry. Though she was a great strong woman, she wen

May is “Older Americans Month”. Recognition of the celebration started in 1963. At that time there were 17 million Americans 65 and older. Now, 58 million Americans are 65 or older. Somewhere along the way I joined the club. As I shared with my wife, if we are involved in an automobile accident, the headline on the news will include in part “Elderly couple……” It is so easy to put people into categories. Doesn’t that make it easy to judge them? To arrange our expect

My youngest grandson is named Max. Max is a perfect name for him – living life to the max. Max is 3, going on 14. During my last visit with my son's family, Max's mother, my daughter-in-law, Caley, was busy getting a meal ready. Max announced, “Mom, I need to poop.” Caley encouraged him by saying, “Go ahead to the restroom by yourself.” Again, he announced his need. Caley, again, encouraged him to go by himself. Then, Max asked, “But who will talk to me?” Max wanted