Living on Borrowed Time

Ten years ago this March, most of my family and I traveled to Costa Rica.  To say it was memorable would be one applicable word but, perhaps, an understatement.

It was Spring break, 2016.  It coincided with my birthday.  My niece and my wife made a los leche cake to celebrate my birthday.

Two days after my birthday celebration, we went repelling.  After several repels, we got to the big one – repelling down a 100-foot waterfall.  As my turn arrived, I mentioned to one of the guides that my harness did not feel like it was secured correctly.  Being assured it was, I released my hold and swung out over the waterfall.  A few seconds later, part of the harness slipped, causing me to flip upside down.  It happened so quickly that the sudden flip caused me to hit my head, and with the blood rushing to my head, I lost consciousness for a moment.  When I came back around, not only was I upside down, but my head was in the water fall as I struggled to breathe.  But the real issue was the harness.  It was slipping from my waist, then to my knees and finally to my ankles. I was trying to spread my legs to keep tension on the harness belt. If it came off my ankles, there was no safety rope and I was going to fall one hundred feet.

Part of my family was on the cliff from where I repelled; others were at the bottom looking up at me.  The guides asked that everyone look away.  Over the next 10 minutes or so, one of the guides climbed up from the bottom and the other climbed down to me from the cliff.  Eventually, the guides were able to grab me and swing me over to a flattened area, readjust the harness, allowing me to complete the repelling.  For ten minutes, a lot flashed through my mind. 

Two days later, my wife and I received word that a good friend had passed away. 

The same day, I learned my stepfather was transitioning to hospice.  Two days later, on a Friday while in Costa Rica, I talked to him for the very last time.  A couple hours after our conversation, he was gone. 

I remind myself, every so often, I am living on borrowed time.  While on this time, I've had two grandsons born to the family, and the time with them is so special – every moment.  Each Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and family vacation burns, into my memory.  Every get together with the family I tend to treat as if it is the last one where we are all able to get together, for whatever reason. 

Two common questions I get asked: First, what went through your mind?  Honestly, this is what I thought, while pretty sure that I was going to die: “My family will be okay; my wife will be okay; my law partner is up to taking over my office; I am good with God.”  So, while terrifying, it was a special moment of peace that I should draw on more often.

The second question is: “How has it changed you?”  While I don't pretend I live every day as I should, I know I appreciate a lot of little, common things more – a smile, a thank you, moments with family and friends, giving a compliment. I like to think I am more forgiving; more accepting of differences; more aware of my mortality.

I try to say things to people to remind them how important they are in my life and how much I appreciate them. I try to give and get more hugs.

Work is not always work – I “get to” work another day.  I “get to” meet another family and help them on their journey.  I do not take that blessing lightly. 

I appreciate that I have been there for my family this past ten years, celebrating good moments, but perhaps even more, walking with them in moments of crisis, indecision and heartbreak.

Let me share with you one more part of the repelling story.

When we ended the day of repelling, the young guide found his father and brought him to me.  He shared with his father the story of what happened in Spanish and in tears.  Both the guide and his father then gave me hugs.  I suppose, in saving me, it reminded him of what it would be like to lose his own father.

I so wish that I could have shared this story with my stepfather.  I was planning on doing so before he was taken from us.

My hope, my charge to myself, is that when I get overwhelmed or frustrated by like, work or circumstances, I remember repelling in Costa Rica, losing my friend and my stepfather, and the borrowed time for which I have been blessed. And to put life and its wonders in perspective.

Finally, and keep this in mind, we are all on borrowed time.  Appreciate it. We appreciate you.